Learnt But Not Taught…

“It’s not the teaching, it’s the learning” Sly Stone

Today my child learnt discrimination…

She came home and told me about how the new class teacher left 4 children behind while taking the rest to watch a video in another room. “Why?” I asked. “She said we were talking, but Mama I really wasn’t. She told me I have to put my head down on the desk. When I looked up they were gone”. “Were you actually talking?” I asked Mini Me. “The last time I got left out I was but this time I wasn’t, I promise”. I believed my child as she said it – one of the great gifts God has given mothers is to discern their child’s expressions to some extent.

I had that sinking feeling in my heart as I listened. Please don’t let it be that this new teacher is someone broken in her own heart, someone angry with life or God, someone unable to deal with her own self and trying to manage a class full of toddlers. 

It’s amazing what we teach our children through not teaching them:

  • we teach children that there are categories, boxes into which children are placed – in the process teaching them that there is no recovering from that brand for a long time
  • we teach children about people who came out victorious, history that remembers only the winners – in the process teaching them that if you fail a few times, you won’t be worth a memory
  • we teach children about happy endings – in the process teaching them that happiness is a destination; if you aren’t always happy then you are sad
  • we show them movies where the hero is always good-looking and typically a man – in the process teaching them that if your body shape isn’t ideal, you already are at a disadvantage and if you are woman, well..you aren’t the hero
  • we teach them about inventions, mostly by men – in the process teaching them that women really didn’t invent much
  • we teach them not to cry, get angry, complain – in the process teaching them that negative emotions are not wanted around us and should be dismissed / wiped away
  • we teach boys to protect girls – in the process teaching them that without them the girls are weak
  • we blindly teach children about our country’s great leaders, people who the nation followed – in the process teaching them that only being a leader really mattered
  • we teach about happy families, always the picture of 4 people, mom, dad and 2 kids – in the process showing them that being a single child or a single parent is incomplete
  • we teach them about the head of the family, always the father – showing them that moms don’t lead and its daddy who brings home the real bread
  • we teach them to be excited about holidays and going someplace – in the process neglecting to help them celebrate every day
  • we teach them that they can pass with 80% of the marks – in the process teaching them that they can keep going through life without knowing 20% of the subject
  • we conduct prayer recitals amongst a bunch of children from another religion – teaching them to repeat but not understand that all religions have similar values
  • we teach them about jobs to aspire for, become a doctor for example – in the process teaching them that being a nurse means being less
  • we teach them that they will be punished if they are talkative in class – in the process teaching them that their exuberance isn’t valued in class
  • we teach them that the best children will be made class monitors – teaching them that organizational & leadership roles are only deserving for those who pick up math and alphabets earlier
  • “We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.” Phyllis Diller

I have great respect for educators and teachers but I find the content of the education greatly lacking in imparting the skills of life. Till we don’t help children understand why we are teaching what we are teaching, children will not really learn anything.. #GiftTheLight

“Children are not casual guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose of loving them and instilling a foundation of values on which their future lives will be built.”  >> James Dobson

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